May 31, 2006

Nirav and Jasjit’s flights are confirmed. Nirav is flying tonight and Jasjit got tickets for Saturday late night. I think our visas are going to take effective from 5th of June and we will be flying on either 5th or 11th June. Project’s all work is pending and I think it is going to be quite a task for everyone here to match with the return deadlines.

We need to learn everything, get all the details and crystal clear view of what client want and how to do it. All the training sessions will be our real challange since it is going to be on another continent and in their understandings.

I am ready for it. Since C-DAC it is going to be the first time I’ll be working on any new tool with all it’s integrity. It will not be a problem since I am open to explore new horizones in my carrier.

All the friends are so happy that I can imagin how it would be like when I’ll return. The anxity is tearing off now but a party will be due for everyone in all the cities where my friends live. People are congratulating me since almost last one month.

Jagdish is not comming online, I have not seen Yahoo Messenger since last 20 days, no one is sending any good personal e-mails, Pooja is busy with her exams, on Orkut I have got some friends and everyone is asking the same question, WHEN ARE YOU FLYING?

I am relaxed and if I am not flying on 3rd or 4th, I’ll be going to Pune for the weekend.
Oh come on! Weekend is away, this is only Wednesday today.
I am chilling here.

May 30, 2006

Last night was so bizzare. I went home at 6:30 and just fell down on bed. Before I knew it was 9:00 in in night and Kamlesh was shouting at me on the top of his voice about my dinner which was yet to be ordered. I went to nearby restaurent and boozed, thinking after that I might catch some sleep.

It was only 3:00 in the morning I caught some sleep. Just half an hour after that Kamlesh woke up, switched the fan off and was fighting with mosquitos like a maniac. He acts so lunatic whenever he sees any of them. I preyed to him to sleep and it took another 15 min. to convince him.

Again the sleep ditched both of us. It was 9:00 in the morning and we were late for the office. I reached office at 9:45 only to find that I was not the only one late but half the office was empty on a tuesday morning.

My team is growing, Subira joined today, She is also in my domain and I think it is great to see new team members as they share your frustration.

I am good.

May 29, 2006

Okay! Here I am back on a Monday morning. Friday night I went to Church Gate to watch The Da Vinci Code with Abhishek Bhai and Nikhil. The movie was good and I enjoyed it a lot as I knew the entire plot from the book but there was so little background for the people who have not read the book.

Saturday was a day of myself. I read the book by Chetan Bhagat, ‘Five Point Someone’. The whole book was about 3 losers from IIT. It was a fantastic read and very identical with the mess I had in my college days. I just adore the book. Again in the evening I was at Church Gate with Nikhil to nail down my frustration of a day of loneliness.

Sunday was the same; TV, Book and Nikhil visited me in the night. We prepared some noodles and had a dinner at my place, which is company guesthouse. Not much happenings. I knew it happens with me when something deeply interesting or revolting remains in times to come. I am good this time around. 3rd is a confirm date as some of my seniors from the company have already left to make a setup for us in Sweden. I am so looking forward to it.

May 26, 2006

I am good today. I in total control and in the driver’s seat. We don’t have much to do here in right now. I am a bit confused whether to go to Pune for the weekend or just hang around for some time in Mumbai it self.

If Nikhil gets some movie tickets, I will be stuck here for the rest of the weekend and if he fails, I am catching the next Volvo to Pune. Jagdish is alone there. Office meetings are also sceduled for today evening.

Bas.

May 25, 2006

Things now are pretty chilled out. Our documents from embassy are back and people saying that the visas are done. I think it is good if whatever they are saying is true. I am still trembling deep inside my heart. I am behaving like more of a looser these days. Where is the good old hyperactive Dushyant gone? It is just after the tragedy in December that I am unable to go with the same wilderness as I used to.

A more sense on maturity has taken a place inside my mind. I am not complaining but I think I am not old enough to loose my childhood. I am happy with that. I am young and want to rule the world.

Where is the Dushyant gone?

I think there is a battle going on deep inside my soul between the looser and the ruler. Dushyant who made people learn live and who had his shoulders soaked up with the tears of everyone is now falling behind.

I am not a looser.

Probably we are flying to Sweden on 27th or 3rd. As per company’s policy we can fly only on Saturdays. (Don’t ask what that means and why?)

Am I over reacting?

May 24, 2006

I am hanging with a very thin thread in the darkness of hell. If the thread breaks, I’ll be lost in the darkness of infinity. I’ll be dead. I’ll be no more.

If this chapter comes to an end, I’ll be somewhere where I will start my life from the biginning. This is not working. It is supposed to work but this is not working at all.

Just prey. Fingures crossed. I do not want to loose it all.

Yes I agree. It was all my fault. I lost my golden years of college. Now if that sounds as distant voices, I will go back and will start from where I left my life. Whatever people say, whatever family demands, whatever morals say I am not going to listen. I’ll be back. Dushyant is unstopable. I will bounce back. But not as the same person as I am.

Woods are lonely, Dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
Miles to go, Before I sleep.

May 23, 2006

Actually I am starting to get frustraited about this Sweden thing.  First they said it is going to be on 22nd May, than it was 27th May and now it seems like going forever to June’s first weekend that is some 3rd or 4th.

Now, the question arrives that why am I frustrating my self? The answer to this question arrives in the shape of workers. People are not joining as fast as they are supposed to. If people join late, visa will come late and just because of a few people the team will be late.

Let me tell you the three things why I joined Datamatics:

1. CMMi-5 Level Company.
2. Sweden.
3. Senior Position.

And here comes three points which are just popping in my mind and dragging me into the negetive direction:

1. Mumbai, The Climate.
2. I am a bankrupt.
3. No friends YET.

It is nothing like I am regreting over my decesion but I am just hoping to fly as soon as possible. Till the plane moves on runway I am in a really uneasy mindset.

I had this team one on one meet with Ulhas this morning and he told me there are going to be 3 people at my level that is AOH-Senior. I am the one and 2 others will be coming.  There will be 5 more people working under me as juniors and approximate size of the whole Cybercom-Datamatics team will be 50 as persent set of requirements.

I am alone here in this city. I am just hoping for a miracle to happen. I need some friends and I want to fly ASAP. Fingures crossed and touchwood.

Thank you god. You gave me luck, support, strength, brains and confidance to reach at this level. I would have lost under these pressures without your guidance.

Please keep your blessings on meand my family forever. I need it.

May 22, 2006

Now that I have spent around 5 days in this city of Mumbai, I think I have got enough time to think about a lot of things without disturbance. I am almost as good as alone. Friends are far away. Today I was supposed to be on board for the flight to Sweden. People are still joining and their passports are still needed to send at the Swedish embassy for visa stamping.

I have no work to do here. Just now Ulhas called. I am reporting to him. I just told him the same thing about what is I doing. He told me to wait for his another call as he is going to explain me the work plan, as on which we will execute the events in the future. I hope he describes when we will be on board. Before that everyone wants to be assure of the new country, their culture and working conditions. The homework is the key to win hearts of the clients. I am sure we will be at our best while working in Sweden. Jasjit suggested me to try out Google for the study purpose in the free time that we are having.

I went to meet Nikhil on Saturday. We spent some time at Marine Drive and The Gateway of India and then went to his apartment in Mahalaxami for the night stay. In the morning we had lunch at the Jain Hostel in Alphenstine Station with Abhishek Gaoshinde bhai. The food was superb.

I met Kapila that evening and realized that things are changed now. She just moved on with all the things, friends, time and all the memories. She was there but not with me anymore. She is changed. I thought I was the one who keep suggesting everyone to move on from things but she was a sure winner from them all. She gave me the complex that I was the one who left behind. Kapila is leading an all-new life with her new friends, new job, new qualification and that too in the new city. She will sure leave everything in a couple of years to start a new phase of life altogether. She moved from Lakhnau to Anand to Cdac, Indore to MAPRM at DAVV to Mumbai. Leaving all the relations behind she looked happy to me. She looked like a complete new person to me.

One thing that hurt me most was the list of friends Kapila suggested as the friends who are now a thing of past for her. I may be reacting a bit too much on the matter but she is gone. She is gone forever. Gone is the girl that was one of the closest friends of mine once upon a time. I was proud of having a friend like her. We shared a team and she just lists me as one guy she done here multimedia course with and did some stupid thing as opening a failed business with. Kapila you hurt me.

May 18, 2006

Yesterday evening I went home at 6:30. I had my lunch and went to bed at 10:00. I was so tired that I remained at home all evening.

I wakeup early today and reached for the induction at 9:00. It was Quality Induction by Mr. Goyal. It was a 58 slides powerpoint presentation and I thanked got it was over. Now I have to go for a workshop at 7:30 in the evening with Jasjeet, the only member of my team who joined till now. I think a couple of people are also joining today as network guy is setting up a few more machines. He gave everyone a IBM-Think Center and I got an assambled one. I asked him about the injustice and he said that we all will have laptops and these are just temporay machines. I am okay with it till I get the net to blog on.

See what the day has in it’s kitty…!

May 17, 2006

Yesterday was my last day at Focus. I handed over all the responsibilities to Amit and Revati gave me my reliveing letter. I think it was cool exiting from a company while bidding goodbyes to everyone.

It was a rush at the home back. Anand arranged for some pettycash for me to carry because I already spent around 15,ooo/- bucks in 5 days for the packings. I asked Yogesh to drop me to Mumbai and he agreed.

I up till  1 AM and at that time everyone was up to have a last late night chat together.

In the morning Yogesh came home with Amit at 5 AM. Amit, Jagdish and Hissam came to drop me and Yogesh at the bus stand. I reached Mumbai at 10:00 and went straight to the company’s guest house which is a well furnished 2 bedroom apartment with fridge, TV and washing machine installed in it. I joined here in Datamatics and am sitting on another guys machine while the Network guy here gets my PC done. Rest in Peace.

Mujhe neend aa rahi hai….